Milk. It does a blizzard good.
Posted by lazlow | Filed under Uncategorized
There are some weird hardwired bits in the human brain that we have no control over – impulses and urges that you fight as much as you can but survival instincts take over. one of these is a hording instinct when the weather turns sour.
When I worked at a grocery store, i saw these survival instincts first hand. It flows like this:
1. The news says it’s going to snow
2. People shit their pants
3. People horde milk
Evidently if you run out of milk when it’s snowing, there is a serious chance you will cannibalize your family. Milk, which is really unhealthy for you(despite all the stars in the ads with their faces looking like they just shot a porn) seems to be all we think of when snow is on the way. The news today is showing empty milk shelves at supermarkets as people prepare for a foot of snow that’s coming to the east coast. I know firsthand that running out of milk can cause domestic violence. pour some water over fruit loops and you’ll see the anger come right out of a man. And besides, it’s really important to drink liquid hormone fat before you shovel the driveway. The other two items i saw people horde when storms were coming are beer and cigarettes, which i can at least understand.
I wonder if 200 years ago, when people feared a snow storm coming, they ran out to the barn and furiously grabbed udders, filling a bucket of milk to help tide things over. or just brought the cow in the house for good measure.
i don’t have any milk. i used to drink a half gallon a day in college and finally went to some meetings and got better. what i do have is Sierra Nevada on tap in my kitchen. and that should get me through any storm.
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