We are running to the coke dealer
Posted by lazlow | Filed under Uncategorized
The 80s were super awesome. I meet people that were born in like 1986 and i say, wow, you really missed out. EVERYONE looked like this. This guy looks happy because he just plowed these chicks while watching Newhart. And after they jog in place in the driveway for a while, they’re going to get on an airplane, light a cigarette, and head somewhere magical. That’s because in the 80s AMERICA WAS MAGICAL. Now our dollar is a piece of shit that central american countries laugh at. Our major cities look like a bomb went off in them. A massive swindle has happened in this country in the last 15 years. And somehow we are blaming workers, the middle class and the poor. Our shit has been looted.
But I have a recovery plan.
Every American family gets sent an 8-ball of cocaine, a carton of Marlboro Reds, a bottle of Schnapps, and all of the TV channels get turned off except for 4 stations. And every radio station plays shit like it’s 1986. And we pretend none of this ever happened. At least for a little while.
Lazlow.com is the home of Radio Lazlow Inc, The Lazlow Show, and Lazlow's Technofile, We are most known for our work on the Grand Theft Auto games.
April 16, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Once that happens we will all look like Ted Williams (pre Cavaliers) but not a bad pitch.
April 16, 2011 at 3:35 pm
Hah. I wish I was there when America was still magical.
Atleast this is a good entry to the blog though, eh?
April 17, 2011 at 2:57 am
Wonderful plan there Laz
April 17, 2011 at 6:02 am
Is that Dolph Lundgren?!?
April 17, 2011 at 6:22 am
but dude, the MUSIC
it was SO TERRIBLE
also the hair and the clothes. except for captain short shorts up there, we should bring that look back.
April 17, 2011 at 8:49 am
best idea ever
April 18, 2011 at 8:49 am
Hell no man 80′s music wasn’t so bad Metallica, Megadeath, Iron Maiden, Queen, The Pixies, and the Beastie Boys are from the 80′s. The only thing that sucked was the tech. and how hard some of the things we do now that we take for granted. Like posting on an American radio and video game stars page from Australia without having to sacrifice my first born in postage.
April 18, 2011 at 9:53 am
synthesizers = the greatest invention mankind has ever seen.
April 18, 2011 at 3:26 pm
I was born in 1990. I will have to disagree and say the 90′s ruled….
April 18, 2011 at 3:30 pm
@Malik Rasheed Al-Akim
Because you’d know, being 9 and all. I’m sure you really experienced it. Hurr durr pokemans so cool 90′s rock
On a sde note, I got a fucking gravy stain on my 100% OFFICIAL LAZLOW SHIRT. Brrroooo, bbrrrrrrooooooooooo
April 22, 2011 at 5:47 am
I was born in 91 and also think the 90′s rocked.
I was too young to party but you know what, fuck it you’re right, Pokemon was great. Haddaway’s What Is Love was also great. Trainspotting was great.
Not saying it’s better than the 80′s, so I’m not disagreeing with shit…
That said, I do remember on one of the Lazlow Show episodes he says ‘People always say the 80′s must have rocked but I gotta say, it actually really sucked.’
April 23, 2011 at 8:45 pm
i thaught the 80′s “actually kinda sucked balls!” laz!?
April 24, 2011 at 1:38 am
The 80′s……
You can dance pop without being gay, drive a Camaro with the original engine and spare parts, fuck hundreds of whores and no getting AIDS… and………..and……….. FUCKING SMOKE IN THE FUCKING AIRPLANE! Chewing nicote gum is like blowing chalk dust.
Sadly I was born in 1986, so I missed everything. Well, at least AC/DC and hardcore porn still here.
Grettings from Argentina, home of corruption and cheap weed.
April 25, 2011 at 1:21 pm
Episode 46…
April 25, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Dude it would so fucking cool if we could make that happen. 80s take huge dump on 90s and 00s, better music, better movies, cooler people, everyone smoked drank and did whatever the fuck we wanted.
April 26, 2011 at 12:50 am
@Malik Rasheed Al-Akim
i’m quite sure you experienced the 90′s, whilst still sucking on your mums nipples and all…
April 26, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Episode 46 would be nice. its been 6 months
April 30, 2011 at 12:48 am
the 80′s rocked man mj was still black, you had all those awesome hair bands, and beer and cigarettes were cheap. plus you did not have to work hard to get laid.
May 2, 2011 at 2:15 am
Hey can you give us an update on the show, Lazlow? Please you have a huge fanbase !!
May 2, 2011 at 7:57 am
osama bin laden is dead, this calls for a celebratory show doesn’t it?
May 2, 2011 at 3:36 pm
We want a new episode Laz!!!
May 3, 2011 at 2:53 am
please new show lazlow it has been 6 months
May 3, 2011 at 1:05 pm
im 10 so i know nothing about the 90s or 80s
May 4, 2011 at 10:06 am
46 please!
May 4, 2011 at 12:18 pm
You sir… Are a pure genious.
May 5, 2011 at 12:25 am
Still waiting episode 46. My Guinness is about to expire.
May 5, 2011 at 4:29 pm
I hope your next show will be audio only, if there will be another show that is.
May 6, 2011 at 9:49 am
Let’s sign this petition again and the guys shall be punished for not giving us the 46.
http://www.petitiononline.com/Lazlow/petition.html
May 6, 2011 at 1:32 pm
*in the style of Bill burr* Oh jeezus. looks like the petitions returned hahaha.
and really do you think laz is gonna plan an episode cos the fans are desperate. I mean, i know i can get a bit impatient and spout my mouth about it, but do we actually think a list of names and emails will persuade him since he bitched about it last time.
May 7, 2011 at 4:04 am
Dude it’s not even a serious petition. We just like to hear more form the guys but to be honest if Lazlow is that ignorant about the fans then I don’t give a fuck no more
May 7, 2011 at 5:17 am
Just be patient, 46 will come when it comes. Im busy with my college anyways, as ar many of you i assume:)
May 8, 2011 at 4:19 pm
as i said im 12 i know nothing of the 80s but looking back at the music it looked great
May 9, 2011 at 1:12 am
you said you were 10 actually
May 9, 2011 at 11:40 am
jesus christ, i didnt know u where keeping records
May 10, 2011 at 9:27 am
Shit was not that deep @ 80′s
I must agree on that.
That makes them suck less than now.
Today world turns around parasitic industries that feed from each other and multiply infinitely.
Avalanche is moving on and getting bigger, at some point it will reach the bottom of mountain and all bubbles will burst.
Sounds almost serious
Waiting for 46th.
Have a nice day!
May 13, 2011 at 6:19 am
Listen, guys. L.A. Noire is only a few days away. Laz and the Rockstar guys are probably running around frantically trying to make sure everything is ship-shape for the release. Once the 17th passes, hopefully he’ll take some time off to relax and maybe do a show, before he has to fly around the world to promote it.
Just be patient….
May 14, 2011 at 2:24 am
@Socrates
You’re right. But also they were doing the show a few weeks before GTA was released.
May 27, 2011 at 2:29 pm
Pretty decent Cameltoe on the left…
June 3, 2011 at 7:03 pm
Here’s a better idea: Everyone acts and dresses like pre-WWI, and you pretend everything else didn’t happen. Hitler, Soviet Union, Cold War, Korea, Vietnam, Gulf War, Kuwait Afghanistan, Iraq, and American Idol. None of it happened, and you try and start again. Look at it this way: Elvis never happened, and you’re not in debt. And I keep saying “You” because I’m Canadian and I don’t give a shit, also we’d be able to keep up with you culturally.
June 3, 2011 at 7:06 pm
>do you think laz is gonna plan an episode cos the fans are desperate
>fans
Are there any fans left?