My toilet doesn’t flush anymore
Posted by lazlow | Filed under The Lazlow Show
I come home these days and my house smells like cigars, pop music and drugs. That’s because my best friend is doing construction here. Construction people LOVE THE DRUGS. It helps you cope with the concept that a power saw is a second away from making you a joke where you raise your hand and everyone laughs at how you are 9/10ths of a man.
My toilet laughs at me. Because my manly construction friends process phenominal amounts of processed foodstuffs that they pick up at drive-ins and then turn into toxic dirt and make swirly time in my toilet. Since Wayne started working here, when I flush, the water gets really close to the top of the bowl. And I pray. I pray and then it goes away. Or it just hovers at the top. And then I go on about my business, which must annoy God who has just stopped my toilet from overflowing. Again. Despite my pleading. I am inconsiderate to deities. I blame them for all kinds of shit. And, well, shit.
But my friend Wayne, for those of you that know him, he’s doing better. He’s got money to go to the doctors thanks to a bunch of kind souls out there. And he’s working on my bathroom. So maybe we’ll get the gang together and do a show again sometime soon. He told me a really disturbing story about making his grandmother shit that I have to share.
Peace and chicken grease
lazlow
Lazlow.com is the home of Radio Lazlow Inc, The Lazlow Show, and Lazlow's Technofile, We are most known for our work on the Grand Theft Auto games.
December 21, 2011 at 12:21 am
I thought you just let it mellow. Gettin all fancy on us with these flushin turlits.
December 21, 2011 at 2:18 am
Great to hear Wayne is doing better after we kicked in the funds to get him all doctored up.
December 21, 2011 at 2:55 am
Really glad to hear that Wayne is doing better, and I’m also looking forward to a new show.
Have yourself a merry X-mas Laz!
December 21, 2011 at 6:42 am
Good to hear wayne is still using a toilet instead of newspaper, and is getting better. Have a blast in Jamacia guys! Looking forward to the new show. Please make it to atleast 50.
December 21, 2011 at 8:50 am
the news people have been waiting for has finally been answered. now we wait for the show and peace shalt be spread across the shows fanbase for a few months.
December 21, 2011 at 3:45 pm
That is great news about Wayne.
I know that as a city slicker you are probably worried about the expense of having to call a plumber, but if you can force yourself to enter a Wal-Mart, they have an affordable product called a “plunger” that should keep the toilet working well with a minimum of effort. Good luck!
December 21, 2011 at 4:53 pm
Really glad to hear that Wayne is better!
Also, can’t wait for the next show.
Merry Christ… oh right, you don’t like Christmas either.
December 21, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Wayne just never changes, does he? I’m glad to hear he’s doing better!
December 22, 2011 at 12:38 am
Bless Wayne’s kind heart, and we hope he will be with us for a long, long time.
And listen to what Guy T. says……use a plunger!
December 22, 2011 at 7:43 am
You need to get a commode with legs…
No Jamaica this year??
December 22, 2011 at 10:51 pm
FINALLY!! Some news bout wayne
December 24, 2011 at 12:39 am
Glad our donations paid off.
So what the hell is Reed up to?
December 24, 2011 at 10:57 am
do what mister cumia says here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFtDdzVujOo&feature=channel_video_title
December 25, 2011 at 4:47 am
Patrice O’Neal dies Big Wayne lives, a fair trade…
…nah, RIP Patrice. He was cool irl called me groupie for asking for an autograph, still got his autograph.
Cheers Laz.
December 26, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Congrats on wayne’s survival, and on GTAV which I’m sure you’re working your ass off on.
Nonetheless, looking forward to and awaiting the next show
December 26, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Hey man good to hear Wayne is doing good, any news on Reed or couzin Ed? Also try get the band back together for another show some time soon, it’d be cool if you could get it going regular again. Good luck on GTA 5 too bro.
December 28, 2011 at 9:27 pm
Has lazlow ever told the full story about him on acid in church?
(I havent gotten through all episodes yet)
I’d really like to hear about that.
December 29, 2011 at 5:08 pm
€100 says during the next episode that they’ll say that they will do “one episode a month” from now on…
December 29, 2011 at 6:37 pm
glad wayne’s alright.
cant wait for the new episode.
cheers dude.
December 29, 2011 at 6:42 pm
Turds in toilets, a healthier wayne, shittin’ grandmothers? Oh man, I can’t wait to have you guys back!
December 29, 2011 at 10:46 pm
Laz,
Your dad was here for Christmas. He misses you dude. Give him a call sometime.
Bobby
December 30, 2011 at 11:01 am
don t keep us waiting lazlow
your show is the best
January 1, 2012 at 5:54 am
Glad to hear Big Wang is feeling better and back working! Really looking forward to another show, as there’s a lot to fill us in on! Agus Bhliain nua mhhatih againn from Ireland Laz!
January 3, 2012 at 5:13 pm
“maybe”? Come on Laz, can’t you be a bit more positive than that, no post for ages and then all you can tell us about is a bunch of builders who take a dump in your toilet?
Oh and that power saw joke has been done to death on the show!!!
January 9, 2012 at 8:46 am
Cmon lazlow, wheres the new show.
January 11, 2012 at 6:32 pm
Yes a new show would be great.
I miss the old audio shows.
January 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm
Lazlow if its not too much to ask, could you get Wayne, Reed, Couzin Ed & Gaylord together and do the next show?….pretty please? :’(
January 14, 2012 at 2:09 am
Cmon lazlow announce the next show already.
January 16, 2012 at 8:11 am
168 days since the last show, come on this is getting ridiculous.
January 18, 2012 at 5:58 pm
So, Max Payne not going to be released till May now, that means that GTA V will get knocked back till next year (oh guess what another delay on GTA, not that they had actually published a release date).
So what does this mean? Welll hmmmm, lets see, how about a show back to a monthly schedule?
Nahh must be dreaming
January 18, 2012 at 9:15 pm
Laz, Wayne, Reed; Wouldya please put a good 3 hour show together for us? We all check the site everyday for a twitter update or anything, we’re dying for the gang!
January 19, 2012 at 1:02 pm
Man, this is so annoying. Please Laz, give a fuck and answer your fans. Please! Reed is way more respectful and caring to his fans. This isn’t fair, we love you and your fucking work
January 21, 2012 at 10:09 am
Die hard fan, james mcnigger here. Offer wayne an ounce to do a show? If money isnt motivating him we know drugs will?
January 25, 2012 at 10:47 pm
Good to hear my money was put to good use and Wayne is gettin better. Would love to hear 9/10 Chris on the show again.
Stay safe guys and looking forward to another show.