Let’s watch a movie together about a guy with no hands!
Posted by lazlow | Filed under Videos
I’m 15 minutes into this movie and I absolutely have to share. Watch and post the cringe inducing moments on the comments.
It came out in 1996. Christina Applegate is in it. I don’t remember 1996 being this ridiculously cheesy. What I gather so far is that an aspiring musician loses his hands and somehow gets them replaced with robo future hands and plays techno at rave parties or something.
Moments so far, chronologically….
-the newspaper prop stinks!
-the dialog between father and son is incredible
-why is his girlfriend in bed in the afternoon? Is she a hooker?
-what is this weird forced dialog about protection?
-why doesn’t she wake him up if she knows he has a band gig?
-why is the action sequence/altercation with the drunks SO SLOW. he had ages to see that construction equipment coming. Why didn’t he run out of the car?
-fake arm stumps raised in bed are fantastic
-forced dialog between father and girlfriend outside house
-zoom in on jimmy hendrix hands then pan down to him moping
-why is that dartboard above his bed? where does he stand to throw it? Is it just there to remind him he’ll never throw darts again?
-OMG – love scene with fake hands at 16:57. Why doesn’t he get down to some fisty business?
-HE ASKS HER IF SHE WANTS TO BE STUMP F*CKED! THIS IS AMAZING
-Hobos always sleep in the middle of Times Square
-Why is he breaking into a warehouse to sleep in a cardboard box? Cardboard box sleeping is for OUTSIDE you dolt!
-They’ve set up for a rave and didn’t notice the hobo?
-A swichblade? What is this? 1976?
-Delicate touching of the fake hand and then “you can stay the night.” So romantic!
-37:00 he’s gonna save the day! i can feel it! Fire and knives don’t hurt him!
-50:39 – incredible super computer guy lingo!
-51:27 – amazing description of techno. (thanks boing boing)
1:01 – THEY”RE ALIVE! Robo hands to finger women with
WATCH AND POST YOUR FAVORITE MOMENTS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION!
Lazlow.com is the home of Radio Lazlow Inc, The Lazlow Show, and Lazlow's Technofile, We are most known for our work on the Grand Theft Auto games.
January 22, 2013 at 6:08 pm
The Movie:
“I feel very hard to sympathize with you…” (Christina Applegate)
“Well, excuse me!” (Hand-less Rocker)
Reality:
“I feel very hard to sympathize with you…” (Christina Applegate)
“F**k you, Bitch! I lost ma hands! In what could have been an avoidable incident! What if I come and chop your hands off? Maybe I will and it will make the movie a lot more thrilling!!” (Hand-less Rocker)
January 22, 2013 at 6:12 pm
Oh, wait! Stop press! New best moment: 1:04:40
Love scene better than Ghost, Titanic and Witness put together.
Get Roger Ebert on the phone!
January 22, 2013 at 6:41 pm
The 90s: When it was illegal to play rock’n roll in the garage.
What a bunch of spoiled cunts
January 22, 2013 at 6:48 pm
You apparently don’t need drugs to get the groove when you’re in “Friendly-space”
January 22, 2013 at 6:55 pm
THAT IS THE GREATEST PART EVER – I JUST GOT TO IT!
he went from trying to stumpf*ck a girl to robofingering Christina Applegate!
January 22, 2013 at 6:58 pm
The father giving him the “ok” sign at 1:35:44. Apparently doing some psychedelic dance dressed as the terminator is a much better way of getting you fathers approval then rocking out in the garage. Who knew?
January 22, 2013 at 6:58 pm
*than rocking out in the garage.
January 22, 2013 at 10:24 pm
Lazlow first good to have u back any news comming from you is worth listening or looking to , the movie is so overwhelming and absolutly cringy XD
January 23, 2013 at 1:24 pm
Best part?
Not watching the movie.
January 23, 2013 at 7:27 pm
This trash has ripened into pure comedy.
January 24, 2013 at 8:38 pm
In case you didn’t spot it, the exec. producer’s name is Tami Lynn… Can’t get more trashy than that…
January 24, 2013 at 10:28 pm
Your points were fucking hilarious!
January 26, 2013 at 4:28 pm
Hey Lazlow, I’m glad you’re still alive. GTAV wouldn’t be a true GTA without your input.
What happened of you reed not giving a shit or something like that?
January 27, 2013 at 2:20 am
He was going to stumpfuck April O Neil! How awesome would that be to watch, I mean really? I can hear it now. LazlowShow Episode Whatever: Fake hands, Christina Applegate, Big Wayne watches some Stump Fucking (also known as amputee porn).
January 30, 2013 at 12:21 pm
That black dude on the stage with his t-shirt saying “White Boy”
Laz, what the hell were you smoking/drinking when you’ve decided to watch this movie Haha… Have you fell asleep at around the 1 hour mark?
January 30, 2013 at 12:50 pm
The geek’s name is Leonard Sheldon.
By the way, I live in years twenty-ten and I have no fucking idea how that 90′s technology works. Those metal sausages are hilarious!
February 14, 2013 at 7:36 am
nice movie, faggot.
February 14, 2013 at 7:27 pm
…so a few shows ago, Big Wayne was talkin’ about how a natural disaster on Long Island would be good for th’ construction biz….I’m certain he’s a busy monkey now eh? All his new employment opportunities must have him bouncin’ jobsite to jobsite with horsecock-sized blunts wobblin’ in th’ corner of his mouth while co-workers stumble about sawin’ off fingers and having nailgun mishaps that leave their scrotums pinned to their thighs…rock out with yer cock out Big Wayne…and speaking of cocks out, is Reed’s sham marriage to a female wearin’ thin yet? Have his weekends become filled with 7-man getaways that have th’ fellas downloading their guy-pods into his face? He must be getting sprayed like a tomato plant on a Monsanto farm while that wife sits at home contemplating giving Big Wayne a call to invite him over , enticing him with a bag of weed and an extra large bar of Irish Spring…and kudos to you Lazlow for rescuin’ those GTA master tapes…I’ve paid tribute to you in my Vice City gaming sessions by teabagging Reed’s corpse after shooting him off that fruity scooter…you rock amigo…
February 15, 2013 at 9:14 am
i like bananas
March 9, 2013 at 5:39 pm
Who leaves in the keys to heavy-duty construction equipment, anyway? That thing could’ve busted down an entire building.
March 12, 2013 at 2:54 am
I actually like visiting your site. Regards
March 16, 2013 at 2:59 am
“please, sir, no urinating in the stairwells”
March 16, 2013 at 1:51 pm
Why did i stay up until 2 am watching that?
God, the stupid box stumps uses on the rednecks was the worst.
April 5, 2013 at 5:25 am
This movie is….well, it’s not good.
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