Reed wrote a book. You should buy it. It’s $10.39. Available for preorder now!

But I have a recovery plan.

Every American family gets sent an 8-ball of cocaine, a carton of Marlboro Reds, a bottle of Schnapps, and all of the TV channels get turned off except for 4 stations.  And every radio station plays shit like it’s 1986.  And we pretend none of this ever happened.  At least for a little while.

Tonight we are getting together to do a show. And when I say show, i mean three guys get together and drink beer and talk shit. No guests. Maybe not even any phone calls. But most definitely it will be an audio only stream. My hair looks terrible. And besides. TV is for dorks

Recording of show will be posted Monday

An entire subway car is looking at me like i’m insane.

I’m on trains for 2 1/2 hours a day, and it’s the only down time I’ve got. I read magazines, the paper, books and play the PSP or DS. If i could somehow mount an Xbox and screen into my backpack I would be psyched. So nothing is more infuriating than someone invading that space and time.

Today on the B train from Brooklyn a woman got on and started ranting religious psychobabble at the top of her lungs, making it impossible to read. After tolerating 5 minutes of this intrusion, I turned to her and said “I’m trying to read!” several times, at which point she got louder, so I just began yelling “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” while people looked on horrified. I’m evidently the problem, for confronting the woman who is preventing an entire subway car of people from being able to relax and read on their way in to work.

“Fuckin magnets, how do they work? And i don’t want to talk to a scientist, ya’ll motherfuckin lying and getting me pissed.” from the song Miracles

Yeah – scientists are liars. They don’t wear clown makeup.

“The fruitcakes will still lose and the voice of the peoples republic of California will be heard!”

“I do not want my tax dollars going to support them in any manner. I hope they all stay in California.”

“The downfall of any society happens in tiny increments.”

“Anyone in jail for polygamy should be set free.”

“You stupid satanic fool”

“Fruitcakes! Just a bunch of fruitcakes!”

( i take issue with that last one. Are they saying normal people don’t eat fruitcakes, but fruitcakes do eat other fruitcakes?)

and the best quote is the one from the judge’s decision:

[A]ffording same-sex couples the opportunity to obtain the designation of marriage will not impinge upon the religious freedom of any religious organization, official, or any other person; no religion will be required to change its religious policies or practices with regard to same-sex couples, and no religious officiant will be required to solemnize a marriage in contravention of his or her religious beliefs.

can we make a law to mind your own business?

we’ll see if this happens.

What does frustrate me is the current state of technology journalism. It’s turned into a bunch of elitist whiners who throw bloggy tantrums over the MOST IRRELEVANT THINGS EVER. Take, for instance, the rants of a few tech journalists against the Ipad as somehow being draconian and the Iphone to be horribly limited and betraying our human civil rights. If you went back in a time machine to 1988 and showed someone and Iphone and whined about how horrible it was, they would beat you with a tire iron for being a self absorbed unappreciative dick. THIS is what’s wrong with your life? Really? You can’t make copies of movies you bought in Itunes? Entire continents don’t have indoor plumbing, swim in sewage, and die from a mosquito bite and you in your hipster geek glasses and Prius are whining about your apps? Good going self absorbed prick.

Wow. I think i just did a Technofile there.

The new site has comments. It’s going to be available until people begin acting like children. Be nice. Don’t call names. If you disagree with someone, don’t be mean. Don’t post something you wouldn’t say to someone’s face.

Thanks for stopping by.

Morning: Grand Theft Auto Chinatown Wars and New Super Mario Bros on Nintendo DS
Afternoon: Resistance Retribution and Grand Theft Auto Vice City Stories on PSP
Evening: Call of Duty World at War on Xbox
Late Night: Fallout 3 on PC

It’s been raining for a month straight in NY. I see why people in the UK play so many games!

But hey – if you like golf, more power to you. It’s a free country. I have plenty of friends that love it and think my sports are lame.

The US Open is going on right now, and pamphlets are at each seat on the Long Island Rail Road for people that are heading out to Bethpage to watch pros play golf. Here is the list of rules. Boy does this sound like a mind numbing boring day

• No Cell Phones (including cell phones with photographic capabilities)
• No PDAs and/or other Portable Email Devices
• No Noise Producing Electronic Devices (including MP3 Players)
• No Cameras and/or Camcorders
• No Bags larger than 8″W X 8″H X 8″D in their natural state
• No Cases and/or Covers (such as chair or umbrella covers)
• No Signs, Posters and/or Banners
• No Televisions and/or Radios unless provided by the USGA
• No Food and/or Beverages
• No Containers and/or Coolers
• No Pets (other than service animals)
• No Lawn and/or Folding Armchairs
• No Bicycles
• No Ladders and/or Step-Stools or other similar items
• No Metal-spiked Golf Shoes
• No Weapons (regardless of permit, including but not limited to, firearms or knives)
• No other items deemed unlawful or dangerous by the USGA and/or Championship Security Personnel, in their sole discretion

No weapons? Really? Do you really need to pack heat on a golf course? Is that a high crime area?

Any sport that you can’t watch with a beer in one hand and your cell phone in the other while yelling “You Suck” at the players isn’t a sport to me.

While New Yorkers are facing the prospect of a 25% hike in commuting costs, the government is giving away park land and bankrolling the construction of two new stadiums. The Yankees will pay no rent, and will pay zero property taxes. The 1.5 billion dollar construction cost makes it the most expensive stadium in world history and was bankrolled by taxpayers. Hundreds of millions in tax dollars is going to help private owners and players get rich.

Meanwhile, the most expensive part of your basic cable bill is the fees that go to ESPN – which is then funneled to rich sports teams.

And for fans of satellite radio, both XM and Sirius were driven to financial ruin partially by preposterous licensing fees from Major League Baseball, Nascar, and the NFL.

In city after city, rich sports team owners threaten to leave if they don’t get hundreds of millions of dollars in handouts from taxpayers for new stadiums that taxpayers paid for but still have to pay again to get in.

It’s sickening, when we don’t have the money to run public transportation and schools, that a bunch of millionaires are getting public handouts, all because we have some overly romanticized illusion when it comes to professional sports.

Citizens could file a lawsuit to demand that taxpayers not be forced to foot the bill for billionaires – but then again baseball has been exempt from antitrust laws since 1922. The rules simply don’t apply. And it will take a few $10 dollar beers to make you forget.

Dates have been scheduled through September. During one month this summer we plan on going hard core and doing a show every 2 weeks. However this may change based on Reed’s comfort zone with leaving his house, Wayne’s pursuit for work, and my travel schedule. we’ll do our best to pull off one a month, at least.

The next show is scheduled for Saturday April 11th.

Thanks to the military fans serving in Iraq and Afghanistan who have written in. It’s an honor to bring some entertainment to the American and British forces serving there. And the notes from service members who say they listen to the show while in tanks and on bases really make us smile. You guys sacrifice a lot. We appreciate it every day.

Model Name: Rhiannon Guest
Photographer: Shane Turner – Yakuza Photo

Thanks to them both for the great shots and for being fans of the show. Will Reed go for it?

When you turn 40 you get a sports car, a divorce, stop speaking to your children, and get hair restoration.

On episode 40 however we do none of those things. Instead we’ll get drunk and celebrate, then cry into our 401k’s and unemployment checks.

XM 202/ Sirius 197 9pm eastern. For those outside of the United States, you are dirty foreigners with health care and vacations, and you can’t listen live unless you sign up for an online account here.

Actually, people in Canada can get XM/Sirius satellite radio on the go, and you are dirty foreigners but you have awesome snowboarding and lackadaisical drug laws so we do like you.

We’ll also post a copy of the show within a couple of days for people that want to listen to it.

When I worked at a grocery store, i saw these survival instincts first hand. It flows like this:

1. The news says it’s going to snow
2. People shit their pants
3. People horde milk

Evidently if you run out of milk when it’s snowing, there is a serious chance you will cannibalize your family. Milk, which is really unhealthy for you(despite all the stars in the ads with their faces looking like they just shot a porn) seems to be all we think of when snow is on the way. The news today is showing empty milk shelves at supermarkets as people prepare for a foot of snow that’s coming to the east coast. I know firsthand that running out of milk can cause domestic violence. pour some water over fruit loops and you’ll see the anger come right out of a man. And besides, it’s really important to drink liquid hormone fat before you shovel the driveway. The other two items i saw people horde when storms were coming are beer and cigarettes, which i can at least understand.

I wonder if 200 years ago, when people feared a snow storm coming, they ran out to the barn and furiously grabbed udders, filling a bucket of milk to help tide things over. or just brought the cow in the house for good measure.

i don’t have any milk. i used to drink a half gallon a day in college and finally went to some meetings and got better. what i do have is Sierra Nevada on tap in my kitchen. and that should get me through any storm.

Flew out of Chicago in what can only be described as a blizzard. I’m currently in London kicking off the UK radio tour. Doing Radio 1 Xtra on the Rampage Show, Q Radio, City Talk, Kerrang Radio, and more. Pretty excited to be showing these radio shows the game. The response on US radio shows has been amazing.

http://media.rockstargames.com/products/rockstar/media player/RockstarMediaPlayer.swf

1. Do not start your cover letter with “whatup!” This isn’t a hip hop record. It’s a cover letter.
2. Don’t make your cover letter a 6 paragraph novel in 8 pt font. Half the country is unemployed. Get to the point.
3. Don’t include a heartwarming story about your father in the cover letter. I don’t give a shit about your father. or when you were on his knee. tell it to your therapist.
4. Don’t say that your work is edgy. It’s not. If it involves throwing puppies into bonfires or sex with a farm animal, then it’s edgy. And illegal.
5. Don’t give me pointers on how i can do my work better in your cover letter. You’re the one looking for work stupid. I wasn’t looking for a critique of why you think other stuff is better than projects i’ve worked on. Dumbass.
6. Don’t tell me you are “a perfect match” for the job.
7. Don’t write a bunch of nonsense on your blog and wonder why you don’t get calls when sending your resume out. People tend to do research online before calling a person in for an interview. Especially bad: blog postings of you trashing your previous employer. Keep enjoying those ramen noodles suckah.

I work a c*%t job as a paver/concretor and the only thing that gets me through the day is hours upon hours of The Lazlow Show I have on my iPod.

Last year, when we were in the thick of GTA4 production, shows were few and far between. Currently it’s a hobby that we all do as a laugh. However we would be lying if we said that the piracy of the box set doesn’t affect us financially. Thus the post below. I’m not saying we are going to definitely stop doing the show – I’m just saying it’s in consideration if the torrent trend continues. We’ll obviously discuss it on the next show.

And just to clarify – i have no issue with people copying the show. I buy albums on itunes all the time and make a cd copy to turn someone else on to a band. Someone buying the box set and making a physical copy for a friend isn’t an issue with us either – you’re turning a friend on to something you like. What we have issue with is bittorrent. And asshats like The Pirate Bay – who get all kinds of glee stealing your work and posting it online for all of creation to take. And their contact page indicates you shouldn’t even waste your time contacting them to have copyrighted content taken down. They should be firebombed and their mothers ravaged by a prison gang.

But this just cheered me up immensely:

Carl Lundström, one of four men awaiting trial for involvement with file sharing site The Pirate Bay, is among a dozen Swedes at the heart of a tax authorities investigation into funds stashed in a bank trust in Lilliput tax haven Liechtenstein.The Swedish Tax Agency Skatteverket investigation into Swedes with fortunes hidden in a bank in Liechtenstein began in the spring and has so far uncovered hidden sums running into hundreds of millions of kronor and involving up to 40 people, reports Dagens Industri.

Lundström is the most well-known name on the list and is also due to stand trial for copyright infringement in the new year for his alleged financial support of file sharing site The Pirate Bay.

So maybe their is some justice in the world. Thanks to everyone for all the great emails and support. We’ll see you Saturday.

This dramatic shift in mentality is affecting every sector of news and entertainment. The New Yorker’s James Surowiecki put it very well this month in News You Can Lose when he says

“The peculiar fact about the current crisis is that even as big papers have become less profitable they’ve arguably become more popular….
The real problem for newspapers, in other words, isn’t the Internet; it’s us. We want access to everything, we want it now, and we want it for free. That’s a consumer’s dream, but eventually it’s going to collide with reality: if newspapers’ profits vanish, so will their product.”

Which is the same situation we find The Lazlow Show in. It has grown in popularity. We have fans all over the world. And we love doing it. Plus the box set sales keep the show going, pay for transportation and food for the show and give Wayne, Reed and I a little extra money at the end of the month. We always post the entire show on the website for people to download for free. When we do a new show, we take the old one down and post the new one. However, a couple of kind souls, showing what big fans they are, have purchased our box set and posted the entire thing on all the torrent sites. Every show we’ve ever done. It’s one thing for fans to record shows and post them for other people. Buying the box set and then letting everyone in creation steal it is another. In fact one fan named mothergoose56 posted the entire box set on Christmas Day as a nice big fat present to the show.

And box set sales have dropped to zero.

I have been mulling this over in the last few weeks as the effects of torrents of the box set have taken hold, and as Surowiecki put it – if the show’s profits vanish, so will the product.

The show this coming Saturday could very well be our last for a long time. Wayne is unemployed and working desperately on small jobs to stay afloat. I’m working nights and weekends on a couple of projects and could be focusing on that. Thanks to all the real fans who have supported over the years. I’m sure we’ll debate this very subject on the next show, deciding whether it will be our last. See you Saturday night.