BUT. I pledge we will do some shows this year.

While the video element is interesting to me, i think it becomes distracting. And it’s a whole other level of preparation and technology to deal with(which as you can see we haven’t mastered), so we end up not focusing on the core elements of what made the show, well, the show. And the reason i love radio so much is because you can consume it while doing other things. And it makes those things enjoyable where they would be dull and boring otherwise.

so were looking at returning to our roots. Wayne Reed and I have discussed some dates that might work for a show, hopefully we can get it hammered out. I see Wayne a lot these days. He’s been hanging out in my garage smoking cigars and operating power tools. I come home and my house smells like farts and drugs. I love the guy.

When we have a schedule we’ll let you know. And please be nice on the comments. I know the Internet has taught people to be as mean as possible but it’s really not cool.

Reed wrote a book. You should buy it. It’s $10.39. Available for preorder now!

My toilet laughs at me. Because my manly construction friends process phenominal amounts of processed foodstuffs that they pick up at drive-ins and then turn into toxic dirt and make swirly time in my toilet. Since Wayne started working here, when I flush, the water gets really close to the top of the bowl. And I pray. I pray and then it goes away. Or it just hovers at the top. And then I go on about my business, which must annoy God who has just stopped my toilet from overflowing. Again. Despite my pleading. I am inconsiderate to deities. I blame them for all kinds of shit. And, well, shit.

But my friend Wayne, for those of you that know him, he’s doing better. He’s got money to go to the doctors thanks to a bunch of kind souls out there. And he’s working on my bathroom. So maybe we’ll get the gang together and do a show again sometime soon. He told me a really disturbing story about making his grandmother shit that I have to share.

Peace and chicken grease

lazlow

Video streaming by Ustream

The show starts after a half minute or so – we had some technical difficulties early on as anthony’s studio is still getting sorted. The second part of the show wayne sang rocket man.

Video streaming by Ustream

This show was to raise money for Wayne’s health care bills. If you would like to donate click the button below. he promised to send a letter to all people who donate.

Paypal donation box will be set up.

Wayne to perform live karaoke shirtless(I hope)

1. Reed is getting married
2. Wayne went to the emergency room and is in bad shape.

I’m sure you are as shocked and worried as I am about Reed. You never know what that guy is going to do. Mancations, marriage, it’s all so surreal.

While I can’t get into too much detail about Wayne – he went to a doctor after MUCH delay(you see, here in America if you don’t have health insurance we say go screw) and was instantly rushed to the emergency room(which a is bankrupting event in this country, see comment above.) Some more tests have done over the last few weeks and it is possible some very expensive procedures are going to be needed.

So that’s why the show has been on hold. As you can see we’ve been dealing with some bigger issues than doing a podcast.

This last weekend we discussed possibly doing a Jerry Lewis style telethon with ringing phones and some musical numbers and shit to raise some dough for Wayne’s medical care. I told Wayne he has to sing a song at the end. I imagine it will be a live show with video and if we reach certain milestones Wayne has to remove an article of clothing. But that’s just my fantasy.

We’ll keep you posted.

But I have a recovery plan.

Every American family gets sent an 8-ball of cocaine, a carton of Marlboro Reds, a bottle of Schnapps, and all of the TV channels get turned off except for 4 stations.  And every radio station plays shit like it’s 1986.  And we pretend none of this ever happened.  At least for a little while.

What I am saying is that Denny’s is wack.

I’ve been occasionally borrowing a friend’s truck over the past year – a beat up 93 Ford Explorer that has a busted radio, power windows that operate only occasionally, and an interior light that wouldn’t go off so we smashed it with a screwdriver. It’s the kind of truck where you spill beer all over the floorboard or haul a bunch of dirty firewood and just laugh at the mess you’ve made, never intending on cleaning it up. It’s the kind of truck that you feel manly driving, especially when you are fording a stream or the brakes go out at 60 miles an hour. Recently I looked into getting a newer used truck where the brakes don’t go out at 60 miles an hour and found out a very horrifying thing has happened in this country

We’ve given up on the driving experience.

The marketing push of the last 15 years to get moms out of minivans and into SUVs means that no trucks are stick anymore. Try to find a truck that is manual transmission – it’s nearly impossible. Let’s be clear – Manual vs Automatic transmission is the difference between driving and transportation. Driving stick, you are actually in control of the engine. You don’t roll out into stoplights if you let off the brake. You can start the car with a battery that is completely dead by pushing it and popping the clutch. You can downshift around corners. Automatic transmissions are the lazy man’s transportation. Every time I drive a rental car i feel completely unconnected to the thing. And, automatic transmissions are shit in snow, one of the reasons to buy an SUV in the first place.

The number one selling Porsche in this country is a STATIONWAGON. Automatic transmission of course.

Goodbye American manhood, we’ll miss you.

sorry for the delay – had to convert from an FLV file which took forever.

Tonight we are getting together to do a show. And when I say show, i mean three guys get together and drink beer and talk shit. No guests. Maybe not even any phone calls. But most definitely it will be an audio only stream. My hair looks terrible. And besides. TV is for dorks

Recording of show will be posted Monday

An entire subway car is looking at me like i’m insane.

I’m on trains for 2 1/2 hours a day, and it’s the only down time I’ve got. I read magazines, the paper, books and play the PSP or DS. If i could somehow mount an Xbox and screen into my backpack I would be psyched. So nothing is more infuriating than someone invading that space and time.

Today on the B train from Brooklyn a woman got on and started ranting religious psychobabble at the top of her lungs, making it impossible to read. After tolerating 5 minutes of this intrusion, I turned to her and said “I’m trying to read!” several times, at which point she got louder, so I just began yelling “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” while people looked on horrified. I’m evidently the problem, for confronting the woman who is preventing an entire subway car of people from being able to relax and read on their way in to work.

“Fuckin magnets, how do they work? And i don’t want to talk to a scientist, ya’ll motherfuckin lying and getting me pissed.” from the song Miracles

Yeah – scientists are liars. They don’t wear clown makeup.

“The fruitcakes will still lose and the voice of the peoples republic of California will be heard!”

“I do not want my tax dollars going to support them in any manner. I hope they all stay in California.”

“The downfall of any society happens in tiny increments.”

“Anyone in jail for polygamy should be set free.”

“You stupid satanic fool”

“Fruitcakes! Just a bunch of fruitcakes!”

( i take issue with that last one. Are they saying normal people don’t eat fruitcakes, but fruitcakes do eat other fruitcakes?)

and the best quote is the one from the judge’s decision:

[A]ffording same-sex couples the opportunity to obtain the designation of marriage will not impinge upon the religious freedom of any religious organization, official, or any other person; no religion will be required to change its religious policies or practices with regard to same-sex couples, and no religious officiant will be required to solemnize a marriage in contravention of his or her religious beliefs.

can we make a law to mind your own business?

I’ll be the MC and a featured speaker at this weekend’s big hacker convention titled The Next HOPE. These events are truly amazing with talks every hour on all kinds of electronic madness. There’s a lockpicking workshop where you can learn some tricks, jailbreak your phone, as well as vintage gear to check out. Tons of vendors bring cool devices that shut down TVs in bars, etc.

It’s at the Hotel Pennsylvania, across from Penn Station. Come hang out with thousands of hackers, activists, nerds, music fans, and former FBI and CIA guys who tell amazing stories of surveillance, counterespionage, and other trippy tails.

My dumb speech is Saturday at noon.