Recent News
A terror bouquet. I spotted this at a shop in Central America. Let’s face it – the war on terror begins in the bathroom, which men blow up on a regular basis. This product is a toilet bowl cake that turns the water purple, which gets this woman mega excited every time she makes some shit stew.
February 12, 20115 Comments
I’ve been occasionally borrowing a friend’s truck over the past year – a beat up 93 Ford Explorer that has a busted radio, power windows that operate only occasionally, and an interior light that wouldn’t go off so we smashed it with a screwdriver. It’s the kind of truck where you spill beer all over the floorboard or haul a bunch of dirty firewood and just laugh at the mess you’ve made, never intending on cleaning it up. It’s the kind of truck that you feel manly driving, especially when you are fording a stream or the brakes go out at 60 miles an hour. Recently I looked into getting a newer used truck where the brakes don’t go out at 60 miles an hour and found out a very horrifying thing has happened in this country
We’ve given up on the driving experience.
The marketing push of the last 15 years to get moms out of minivans and into SUVs means that no trucks are stick anymore. Try to find a truck that is manual transmission – it’s nearly impossible. Let’s be clear – Manual vs Automatic transmission is the difference between driving and transportation. Driving stick, you are actually in control of the engine. You don’t roll out into stoplights if you let off the brake. You can start the car with a battery that is completely dead by pushing it and popping the clutch. You can downshift around corners. Automatic transmissions are the lazy man’s transportation. Every time I drive a rental car i feel completely unconnected to the thing. And, automatic transmissions are shit in snow, one of the reasons to buy an SUV in the first place.
The number one selling Porsche in this country is a STATIONWAGON. Automatic transmission of course.
Goodbye American manhood, we’ll miss you.
December 1, 201034 Comments
Download it HERE
sorry for the delay – had to convert from an FLV file which took forever.
November 24, 201029 Comments
Last saturday night i was on my second beer after my tenth(I always roll over to zero, like an odometer in a car) and this was printed under the label. It slightly freaked me out. Magic Hat has always been known to put weird saying under their caps, but this one especially made me uneasy. The next bottle cap said “Reed is Gay.”
Tonight we are getting together to do a show. And when I say show, i mean three guys get together and drink beer and talk shit. No guests. Maybe not even any phone calls. But most definitely it will be an audio only stream. My hair looks terrible. And besides. TV is for dorks
Recording of show will be posted Monday
November 20, 201048 Comments
An entire subway car is looking at me like i’m insane.
I’m on trains for 2 1/2 hours a day, and it’s the only down time I’ve got. I read magazines, the paper, books and play the PSP or DS. If i could somehow mount an Xbox and screen into my backpack I would be psyched. So nothing is more infuriating than someone invading that space and time.
Today on the B train from Brooklyn a woman got on and started ranting religious psychobabble at the top of her lungs, making it impossible to read. After tolerating 5 minutes of this intrusion, I turned to her and said “I’m trying to read!” several times, at which point she got louder, so I just began yelling “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” while people looked on horrified. I’m evidently the problem, for confronting the woman who is preventing an entire subway car of people from being able to relax and read on their way in to work.
November 5, 201026 Comments
This cruise ship hit heavy seas – and the footage is hysterical. Love the tables and chairs!
September 17, 201015 Comments
White trash nationwide is defending themselves as the “Gathering of the Juggalos” is being exposed by the media as a drunken redneck rap fest that saw more than one performer pelted by rocks and bottles. Organized by the Insane Clown Posse, you are sure to get a specific caliber of people that enjoy lyrics such as
“Fuckin magnets, how do they work? And i don’t want to talk to a scientist, ya’ll motherfuckin lying and getting me pissed.” from the song Miracles
Yeah – scientists are liars. They don’t wear clown makeup.
August 18, 201024 Comments
From the comments section of newspapers where religious crazies are upset about gay marriage:
“The fruitcakes will still lose and the voice of the peoples republic of California will be heard!”
“I do not want my tax dollars going to support them in any manner. I hope they all stay in California.”
“The downfall of any society happens in tiny increments.”
“Anyone in jail for polygamy should be set free.”
“You stupid satanic fool”
“Fruitcakes! Just a bunch of fruitcakes!”
( i take issue with that last one. Are they saying normal people don’t eat fruitcakes, but fruitcakes do eat other fruitcakes?)
and the best quote is the one from the judge’s decision:
[A]ffording same-sex couples the opportunity to obtain the designation of marriage will not impinge upon the religious freedom of any religious organization, official, or any other person; no religion will be required to change its religious policies or practices with regard to same-sex couples, and no religious officiant will be required to solemnize a marriage in contravention of his or her religious beliefs.
can we make a law to mind your own business?
August 5, 201011 Comments
I’ll be the MC and a featured speaker at this weekend’s big hacker convention titled The Next HOPE. These events are truly amazing with talks every hour on all kinds of electronic madness. There’s a lockpicking workshop where you can learn some tricks, jailbreak your phone, as well as vintage gear to check out. Tons of vendors bring cool devices that shut down TVs in bars, etc.
It’s at the Hotel Pennsylvania, across from Penn Station. Come hang out with thousands of hackers, activists, nerds, music fans, and former FBI and CIA guys who tell amazing stories of surveillance, counterespionage, and other trippy tails.
My dumb speech is Saturday at noon.
July 13, 20108 Comments
Lazlow.com is the home of Radio Lazlow Inc, The Lazlow Show, and Lazlow's Technofile, We are most known for our work on the Grand Theft Auto games.