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Wayne to perform live karaoke shirtless(I hope)

June 23, 201162 Comments

Over the past few months there has been a lot of WTFing going on about why there haven’t been any Lazlow Shows. A lot has been going on behind the scenes – besides working many weekends or simply not being around, other issues are at play, one of which is deeply worrying.

1. Reed is getting married
2. Wayne went to the emergency room and is in bad shape.

I’m sure you are as shocked and worried as I am about Reed. You never know what that guy is going to do. Mancations, marriage, it’s all so surreal.

While I can’t get into too much detail about Wayne – he went to a doctor after MUCH delay(you see, here in America if you don’t have health insurance we say go screw) and was instantly rushed to the emergency room(which a is bankrupting event in this country, see comment above.) Some more tests have done over the last few weeks and it is possible some very expensive procedures are going to be needed.

So that’s why the show has been on hold. As you can see we’ve been dealing with some bigger issues than doing a podcast.

This last weekend we discussed possibly doing a Jerry Lewis style telethon with ringing phones and some musical numbers and shit to raise some dough for Wayne’s medical care. I told Wayne he has to sing a song at the end. I imagine it will be a live show with video and if we reach certain milestones Wayne has to remove an article of clothing. But that’s just my fantasy.

We’ll keep you posted.

June 20, 201157 Comments

June 15, 2011No Comments

LA

May 15, 201158 Comments

The 80s were super awesome. I meet people that were born in like 1986 and i say, wow, you really missed out. EVERYONE looked like this.    This guy looks happy because he just plowed these chicks while watching Newhart. And after they jog in place in the driveway for a while, they’re going to get on an airplane, light a cigarette, and head somewhere magical.  That’s because in the 80s AMERICA WAS MAGICAL.   Now our dollar is a piece of shit that central american countries laugh at.  Our major cities look like a bomb went off in them.  A massive swindle has happened in this country in the last 15 years.  And somehow we are blaming workers, the middle class and the poor.   Our shit has been looted.

But I have a recovery plan.

Every American family gets sent an 8-ball of cocaine, a carton of Marlboro Reds, a bottle of Schnapps, and all of the TV channels get turned off except for 4 stations.  And every radio station plays shit like it’s 1986.  And we pretend none of this ever happened.  At least for a little while.

April 16, 201140 Comments

May 17th LA Noire comes out. Preorder online and get an exclusive extra case.

April 8, 201121 Comments

March 18, 201118 Comments

The last time i went to Denny’s I was so zooted i used the womens restroom and didn’t notice until a chilk walked in on me. Then I went back out to my friends and an ex-girlfriend showed up. She tried to make me jealous by making out with a guy she was with. But she was just pissed at me cause we went to a party a few months before and i got drunk and made out with another chick while my girlfriend was out getting me more vodka. I don’t remember this, because i woke up in my front yard which is 20 miles away from the party.

What I am saying is that Denny’s is wack.

February 24, 201113 Comments

February 15, 20118 Comments

A terror bouquet.  I spotted this at a shop in Central America.  Let’s face it – the war on terror begins in the bathroom, which men blow up on a regular basis.  This product is a toilet bowl cake that turns the water purple, which gets this woman mega excited every time she makes some shit stew.

February 12, 20115 Comments

January 26, 201123 Comments

I’ve been occasionally borrowing a friend’s truck over the past year – a beat up 93 Ford Explorer that has a busted radio, power windows that operate only occasionally, and an interior light that wouldn’t go off so we smashed it with a screwdriver. It’s the kind of truck where you spill beer all over the floorboard or haul a bunch of dirty firewood and just laugh at the mess you’ve made, never intending on cleaning it up. It’s the kind of truck that you feel manly driving, especially when you are fording a stream or the brakes go out at 60 miles an hour. Recently I looked into getting a newer used truck where the brakes don’t go out at 60 miles an hour and found out a very horrifying thing has happened in this country

We’ve given up on the driving experience.

The marketing push of the last 15 years to get moms out of minivans and into SUVs means that no trucks are stick anymore. Try to find a truck that is manual transmission – it’s nearly impossible. Let’s be clear – Manual vs Automatic transmission is the difference between driving and transportation. Driving stick, you are actually in control of the engine. You don’t roll out into stoplights if you let off the brake. You can start the car with a battery that is completely dead by pushing it and popping the clutch. You can downshift around corners. Automatic transmissions are the lazy man’s transportation. Every time I drive a rental car i feel completely unconnected to the thing. And, automatic transmissions are shit in snow, one of the reasons to buy an SUV in the first place.

The number one selling Porsche in this country is a STATIONWAGON. Automatic transmission of course.

Goodbye American manhood, we’ll miss you.

December 1, 201034 Comments

Download it HERE

sorry for the delay – had to convert from an FLV file which took forever.

November 24, 201029 Comments

Last saturday night i was on my second beer after my tenth(I always roll over to zero, like an odometer in a car) and this was printed under the label. It slightly freaked me out. Magic Hat has always been known to put weird saying under their caps, but this one especially made me uneasy. The next bottle cap said “Reed is Gay.”

Tonight we are getting together to do a show. And when I say show, i mean three guys get together and drink beer and talk shit. No guests. Maybe not even any phone calls. But most definitely it will be an audio only stream. My hair looks terrible. And besides. TV is for dorks

Recording of show will be posted Monday

November 20, 201048 Comments

An entire subway car is looking at me like i’m insane.

I’m on trains for 2 1/2 hours a day, and it’s the only down time I’ve got. I read magazines, the paper, books and play the PSP or DS. If i could somehow mount an Xbox and screen into my backpack I would be psyched. So nothing is more infuriating than someone invading that space and time.

Today on the B train from Brooklyn a woman got on and started ranting religious psychobabble at the top of her lungs, making it impossible to read. After tolerating 5 minutes of this intrusion, I turned to her and said “I’m trying to read!” several times, at which point she got louder, so I just began yelling “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” while people looked on horrified. I’m evidently the problem, for confronting the woman who is preventing an entire subway car of people from being able to relax and read on their way in to work.

November 5, 201026 Comments